Have you ever been to a networking event or party and someone is too close for comfort?
Do you find yourself taking a step back to give yourself a better zone?
Body language can make lasting impressions on the people around us.
Understanding body language can not only improve relationships but give you the insights of thoughts and feelings of others around you.
Body Language conveys the truth that words sometimes cannot. It can show feelings of anger, submission, deception, lust, etc. It can enhance listening and communication, and help you “hear” between words being spoken verbally.
Personal space is a common issue for many people. Invading someones personal space can be interpreted as hostile or much too intimate in casual meetings with strangers.
How far back should you stand while talking to certain people?
This list of zones defines appropriate personal space in certain circumstances:
- 12 ft. – For public purpose (avoid physical interaction)
- 4 ft. – Social interactions
- 18″ – Personal zone (Family and close friends)
- 0-6″ – Close relationships (Intimate or your pet)
I attended a women’s only networking event last night. I hesitated to go since these things are usually everyone trying to sell you their services or ideas. To my surprise this was a low key event that was raising money for a charity and it was an anti-networking vibe.
I met some wonderful ladies, great food, free chair massages and manicures (which I missed). While waiting for my massage, a group of women were having a lively discussion about beauty obsessed women. One of the ladies stated she would never do business with a woman that looked like she spent too much time on herself.
The conversation then led to the Kardashian women and their ridiculous obsession with looks. I was pleasantly surprised by the backlash from these millennium entrepreneurial women. Even though I have a lot of experience with fashion, image, and human behavior I kept my mouth shut to listen to this refreshing discussion.
The Kardashian women have made an empire of looking beautiful and selling style to a level that few women could or would care to emulate. It’s just hard to avert your eyes from people who live a life of such successful meaninglessness.
The beauty industry preys on the insecurities of women but also the deep rooted fact that pretty women get more perks. I’ve worked with many women over the years and a few have told me that if they look beautiful, they have more chances to meet and marry rich men. They will be taken care of and live happily ever after. They bought the Disney dream and the Kardashian Kool-Aid.
Many studies have proven that better looking people get hired more often as well as make more money, get less punishment or have better chances of advancement. But taking beauty to extremes has the perception of making a women look insecure, cheap or stupid.
Beauty has been revered since the beginning of time. Think Cleopatra or Helen of Troy whose beauty launched a thousand ships. They got power and perks being beautiful.
The sad part of the beauty and fashion industries is that they prey on women’s insecurities and define what beauty is. Where some women are concerned, their looks are the worth. Their beauty is a possible ticket to the good life and can bypass years of doing the work to develop skills that will sustain them way past their beauty wanes.
Beauty first and foremost is definitely in the eye of the beholder but more importantly how one feels about themselves.
Beauty is about owning who you are, having self-respect, and be healthy and balanced.
Beauty turns ugly when a woman only defines herself by it.
When our selfie-absorbed culture places more value on one’s image and beauty and not on integrity and character we will continue to make Kardashians richer and miss the other real beauties who are shaping our world for the better.
Fashion changes, beauty fades… class and intelligence never grow old.
“ To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”
I have been interested in cleansing, nutrition and exercise for 25 years. With age, injury, and the last holiday eating binge, I thought what a great time to jump start a system cleanse.
I started this New Year with a vacation to Palm Desert at the We Care Spa.
This spa has been around for 30 years. It caters to clientele who want to clean out the toxins that overload the body that cause stress on the 5 elimination organs.
The body becomes more acidic when acid forming foods and drinks are consumed. This puts a load of stress on the body and slows down the metabolism and creates oxidation in the body.
In order for the body to work efficiently and be healthy it should have a PH level 7.4 or higher. Anything below is considered an acidic body decreasing ability to repair cells, detoxify heavy metals, and also more susceptible to fatigue and illness.
As soon as you check into the spa you are given a checklist to follow for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. These meals consist of filtered water, herbs, vegetable juice, teas, and a detox drink, (which tastes pretty bad), and one mug of pureed soup at night. Basically you have no solid food for as long as you sign up for.
During your stay you have a colonic everyday. This wasn’t a big deal to me since I have advocated colonics for years, (definitely material for a movie script).
Additional treatments to help in assisting the detox are offered that I took full advantage of including Lymphatic Stimulation Massage, Digestive Massage, Magnesium Detox, Reflexology, Oxygen bubble baths, and many others.
Nutrition classes, Morning Yoga, Intra-red Sauna, (and my favorite) the “Floating Bed” were all available to partake in. The grounds were beautifully maintained and relaxing.
As you begin the detox it is normal to feel nausea, headaches, body aches, and generally a bit spacey. This is normal as your body lets go of toxins. After a few days your body will begin to feel better and you begin to have more energy.
Many Hollywood actors and big entertainment professionals take advantage of the program to safely loss weight, unwind, and reduce symptoms of stress.
Being a small resort, only 17 rooms, this place books up 9 months in advance and the return rate is 80%. I met people there that had been there over 10 times.
I was worried that I wouldn’t make it 8 days without eating food. After my 8 days I actually felt amazing and energized. I knew I would come back to this amazing oasis in the desert.
I am a big believer of not only a physical detox but one of emotional health as well.
Look into your life and find what is toxifying it.
Are you holding on to things, people, emotions that aren’t serving you anymore?
If so, it’s time to start ridding your physical and mental body of everything that isn’t serving your greatest good.
Health is a life style, not a once in awhile.
You’re starting a new year and thinking RESOLUTIONS. Now you can wipe the slate of debauchery and excuses and make a pact with yourself to commit.
You know the drill… “I’ll start to exercise, I’ll cut back drinking or eating so much, I’ll meditate, I’ll take that class, I’ll go on a budget”… blah blah blah.
You have the best intentions to become that better version of yourself this year.
Internally you know what you “should” do. So why is it that you can’t stick with it? As the month’s tick by you get distracted and… “oh well”. What is that?
Developing new habits isn’t easy. It takes will power and discipline and once temptation is in front of us we negotiate or make excuses. Then we beat ourselves up for our lack of willpower.
But the lack of willpower is in our brains. Our brains are wired for the path of least resistance. Those long established neuro-networks are hard to overcome. When we are trying to break habits we are actually trying to fight brain processes. That’s why it is better to establish new patterns than trying to stop old ones. You must instill new habits to create new circuitry in the brain.
New habits create new brain circuitry. It is said that a habit takes around 21-28 days to establish. On further research I’ve found that it takes upward of over 60 days to develop a new habit. If you can stick with the new behavior it gets easier and momentum is established creating new circuitry. (Getting over the hump is the hardest – shoot for 60-day commitment).
In my coaching work I have found that people generally try and change too much all at once. They become overwhelmed with unrealistic and unachievable goals. The amount of brain power to rewire can be too much for most people. That’s why less is more.
My suggestions to achieving change and realistic goals in the New Year?
Write down 3 of your top goals for the year.
- Pick your top priority and make that one non-negotiable.
- Write out how many times a day, a week, or month you can easily commit for your goal. Example: 1 hour 3 times a week. 10 minutes daily, once a week. Be realistic!
- Write out the time you have in a day for everything. Let’s say you have to work 8 hours, sleep 7 hours, travel time, chores, eating, etc. Then see what’s left and how much time you have left for your goal. You must look at where your time is spent!
The most important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up if you fall off the schedule.
One of the most proven methods for achieving goals is being accountable. If you have a trainer, a coach, or a buddy who will keep you accountable your success is almost guaranteed.
What do the Holidays mean for you?
Memories of unfulfilled expectations?
Good times or bad?
- Reduce expectations of other people and yourself. Trying to expect other people to make you happy or act the way you want is setting you up for failure. Being responsible for others happiness is just as exhausting and futile. You must allow people to feel the way the want to. That doesn’t mean you need to be abused or attacked. Let go of the ways things were. Honor the past and create your future.
- Let go of perfection – No one cares as much as you do. If people are going to judge or not like you because you didn’t fill their expectations, then you need to examine that. Why do you need to be perfect? How critical are you of others? Do you feel you’re not good enough if you didn’t do all of this?
- Be Realistic and Manage time – You don’t need to go or do everything. Learn to say No. Learn to create boundaries. If you aren’t comfortable with this, it will seem hard at first and may upset others. Remember, others are trying to satisfy their needs not yours. Practice saying no in the mirror 20 times. Ask yourself why you feel you need to say yes to others. If you don’t manage your time well you will become cranky, angry, or anxious. Is that what you want others to see?
Extra Tips for De-stressing
- Gift giving: Our culture has been brainwashed to buy, buy, buy. We are seduced by the onslaught of advertising. Make a budget and stick with it. If you can pull names for gift exchange or make a cap to each gift, then the pressure is reduced.
- Get Support: Delegate chores. You don’t need to do it all alone. Share the cost and work by asking others to bring food, alcohol. Pass on the holiday cards or pick out the most important people on your list. Start early and make a list of everything you want to get done and put it on a time line of what needs to be done by when.
- Start new traditions and memories – If you aren’t happy with the way things are then start creating the way you want them. Being stuck, feeling obligated, or longing for new memories takes effort. If you could create fond memories what would they look like? (If you have kids what values do you want to instill in them about the holidays? Is it all about getting things or exploring a new option)?
- Reflect and give gratitude – Look back on the year to see what you have done and who you’ve been. Are you living deliberately and authentically or are you caught up on what others think of you? Learn to forgive others for not being able to live up to your needs and start becoming your own best friend. The more you judge others the more critical you are with yourself. Be grateful for what you have no matter how small. Don’t beat yourself up. Set intentions to what you want your life to look like.
- Take a break – Breath, laugh, listen to music, enjoy animals and get into nature. These activities are the best free medicine. They help the body to release endorphins and balance the bodies biochemistry. By engaging in these you will actually be more productive, less stressed and be able to show up relaxed and you will be more enjoyable to be around.
- Let go of being right or convincing others – You can’t change people. Learn to listen and respect others differences. If they don’t respect you then it’s time to re-think where you spend your time. Be that which you want the world to be. Teach by example. It is the only way.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”
Have you ever gone to a psychic, read your horoscope, done a Meyers Briggs Personality Test, gone on a spiritual quest, or completed strength finders quizzes to learn more about who you are? It can be fascinating to discover how you fit in the world, why life throws you curve balls, and who you really are as a person.
If you’re anything like me you are just as interested in knowing the path of your purpose, why things happen, and the how to live a richer happier life.
What if I told you that you are okay just where you are?
That you are perfectly imperfect. That nothing has been a mistake or bad. That everything up into this point was for your own growth and evolution.
What if you couldn’t get it wrong?
Success in life is about playing the game, not winning. But our culture is about winning. Winning at all costs. It’s about competition. Having the most, being the richest, the most beautiful, the skinniest, the most educated. Can you ever have enough?
Get off the tread mill of not being enough or having to have more and BE more by living a purposeful, passionate, and authentic life.
The time is now to re-discover who you really are and what is really important to you in life.
The longest journey is the one within and it is the one with the greatest rewards.
Living deliberately and authentically is the new way to live.
In order to do this you must own who you really are, take full responsibility for your life, accept what is, know what you want, and learn tools to get there.
You are a unique being and no one is exactly like you.
All people share the same pains and fears. The ups and downs of life.
Learning how to play the game of life makes the journey less strenuous and difficult and more meaningful and enjoyable.
The goal is to live fully in the moment, purposefully, and intentionally.
The Truth will set you Free, but first it will piss you off.
“There are three constants in life… change, choice, and principles.”
I recently attended a speaking engagement to hear Jack Canfield, co-author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, talk about his book “The Success Principles”. This book is now in its 10th edition printing. It has sold in 108 countries in 30 languages.
As a self-help junkie I snapped up the book and added it to my ever-expanding library. The book outlines many of the same principles you will find in those of Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer, Napoleon Hill, Abraham-Hicks, Joe Vitale, and hundreds of others who share similar philosophies and principles.
The first step to creating success is to give up the blaming and the complaining. You need to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life. In other words, “Own your shit”!
And not just the failures but your successes too.
“A simple formula outlined by therapist, Dr. Robert Resnick diagramed it this way”:
E + R = O Event + Response = Outcome
“If you don’t like the outcome you’re getting, you have 2 choices”
- You can blame the event or external circumstances: your parents, kids, boss, lack of money, the government. We can posses internal limiting beliefs, self-destructive habits, and defeating behavior that contributes to the unwanted outcome. We can ignore feedback, fail to learn and grow, waste time, avoid conflict, or live in denial.
- You can change your responses to the event. This is done by changing your thinking, beliefs, your image of self and the world, and developing awareness about your habits and conditioned responses.
“Everything you think, say, and do should be aligned with your purpose, values, and goals”.
“Your only control in life is the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take. How you use these 3 things determines everything you experience”.
Blaming and Complaining
You will never be successful if you blame others for your lack of success.
You must acknowledge the truth and own it.
Instead of blaming others, own your actions:
- You are the one who ate that cake
- You are the one didn’t say no or said yes
- You are the one who took the job or quit it
- You are the one who bought that thing you couldn’t afford
If you are complaining, then you believe the circumstances you’re complaining about could be better. You can change these… but you choose not to.
Why don’t you change them? Change is hard. It’s easier to complain. You might risk judgment, disappointment, failure, or confrontation. It might take effort, time and money. It is uncomfortable, difficult or confusing.
To make changes in your life you might have to:
- Eat a healthier diet
- Say NO to things
- Quit or change jobs
- Ask for help
- Go back to school
- Leave the relationship
To be successful and own your power you need to take full responsibility and realize that you create or allow everything that happens to you by either your actions or in-actions.
It takes awareness, willingness, and discipline to make this shift.
Slow down, pay attention, get help, ask for feedback, and then ask yourself:
- What am I doing that’s working?
- What am I doing that’s not working?
- What should I do less of? More of?
- Do I talk too much, spend too much, eat too much, or waste too much time?
- Do I need to communicate, delegate, prioritize, or get help?
This is probably one of the most fundamental steps you can take.
Taking full responsibility for your life isn’t easy, but it’s simple.
Free worksheet for principles of success here:
What I Want Worksheet
For more information, email me at: Kristi@kristispeiser.com
Material by Jack Canfield: “The Success Principles”
My signed copy!
“The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
Physiognomy is the study of how appearance reveals personality. This dates back to the Greeks from Greek physiognomia “the judging of a person’s nature by his features,” from physio- (see physio- ) + gnomon (genitive gnomonos) “judge, indicator” (see gnomon ).
Some latest scientific discoveries suggest we can correctly predict personality traits and future behavior from facial characteristics and behavioral clues.
It can reveal not only personality but intelligence, and proclivities to aggression and altruism.
In a study at the University of Texas, Austin, researchers photographed more than one hundred students twice. The first image the researchers photographed the student’s entire bodies and posed in any way they wished (spontaneous). The second photo was an expressionless face, with arms at their side and looked directly into the camera (standardized).
These photos were then shown to another set of students and asked to determine their personalities from the both pictures. Surprisingly the accuracy gauged was significant in the spontaneous picture and highly gauged in the standard picture.
The finding of extroverts stood energetically, relaxed, smiled with arms unfolded, and looked more stylish and neat in appearance. The introverts, on the other hand, had a tenser, more tired stance, smiled less, folded their arms, and looks less healthy and messier.
Researchers have found that we need to view a photo for only fifty milliseconds to detect how extroverted a person is and the dominant personality traits.
Although we should never “judge a book by its cover,” the fact of the matter is that we evaluate people by their looks all the time and do it quite well in some cases.
Studying the face researchers have found that judicial courts are more likely to exonerate baby-faced people than more mature looking people. There is even evidence that juries are more likely to impose the death penalty when defendants have certain facial characteristics.
When it comes to attractiveness researchers found women prefer a more symmetrical masculine face where men prefer small chins, full lips, large eyes, high cheek bones, and thin jaws.
Most faces are not symmetrical but analyzing the faces of celebrities Bradley Cooper and Tom Cruise, their faces are almost completely symmetry.
Also researchers showed a silent one-minute video of a person interacting with another to 100 college students which they were able to accurately reveal his or her IQ, GPS, and SAT scores. A 20-second video clip of people listening to others predicted trustworthiness, compassion, and kindness during the clip.
What these studies suggest is that we have instinctual radar. We have intuitions about others that can be extremely accurate in seconds of observation.
These analyses at top universities show that we can predict winners of elections, trustworthiness of corporate CEO’s we invest in, and who will procure the job or part in the movie.
We don’t always know why we choose someone over another but the innate radar, subconscious brain, and conditioning of past experiences are used to base judgments and predictions.
How much could our face determine if we get the job, book the role, or head a Fortune 500 company? Can your facial features determine your fate?
I believe that by working on the inner path of harmony and authenticity we can learn to be more open, more flexible, more trustworthy, and this can be imprinted in ourselves to be reflected on our face.
Heredity can deal the cards but environment (attitude) can play the hand.
Book: The Tell
Author: Matthew Hertenstein
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” -Lao Tzu
Emotional Intelligence involves our ability to understand, express, and control our emotions.
The ability to express and control our own emotions is important, but so is our ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Imagine a world where you can’t understand when a friend was feeling sad or when a co-worker was angry.
Psychologists refer to this ability as emotional intelligence, and some experts even suggest that it can be more important than I.Q.
Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a framework of five elements that define emotional intelligence:
- Self-Awareness – People with high EI are usually very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don’t let their feelings rule them. They’re confident – because they trust their intuition and don’t let their emotions get out of control.They’re also willing to take an honest look at themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better. Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of EI.
- Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People who self-regulate typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions. They think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, integrity, and the ability to say no.
- Motivation – People with a high degree of EI are usually motivated. They’re willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They’re highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do.
- Empathy – This is perhaps the second-most important element of EI. Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you. People with empathy are good at recognizing the feelings of others, even when those feelings may not be obvious. As a result, empathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others. They avoid stereotyping and judging too quickly, and they live their lives in a very open, honest way.
- Social Skills – It’s usually easy to talk to and like people with good social skills, another sign of high EI. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine. They can manage disputes, are excellent communicators, and are masters at building and maintaining relationships.
Developing your EI can help you build relationships with other people, make strong and lasting connections, and could help you grow your career and become successful. It is important to know how to speak and how to read other people. You will only benefit from knowing how to become emotionally aware.
Test your own E.I. here for free ☟
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
― C.G. Jung
Authenticity requires self-knowledge and self-awareness. It is an expression of your essential self, uncensored, undiluted, and genuine.
Authentic people accept their strengths and weaknesses. They are accountable. They are connected to their values and desires and act deliberately in ways that are consistent with those qualities. It helps you focus on your purpose and goals.
Authenticity is about being genuine and real, it allows us to connect deeply with others because it requires us to be transparent and vulnerable.
Being authentic gets you out of your head and liberates you from trying to be someone else or trying to be perfect.
Here are 7 ways to get started to create an authentic life:
- Define or Redefine your values. It’s hard to behave in an authentic way if you are not clear about what has meaning to you, or what you believe, value and desire.
- Keep an open mind. Authenticity flourishes when we experience the world without limitation, which causes us to shut down our vulnerable, authentic self. Learn to look at life from both ends of a situation. Don’t jump to conclusions- be open-minded.
- Trust your intuition. Pay attention to your guts or intuition, physical sensations and impressions. They can be your instincts telling you that you are not being genuine.
- 4. Compassion – Bring compassionated awareness to anything inauthentic you say or do. You aren’t perfect and perfectionism is a losing battle. Be easy on yourself.
- Self-Worth – Be proud of who you are and who you’re becoming. Realize that you’re worth sharing with the world. Foster gratitude for your strengths and weaknesses.
- Integrity – Show up fully, with integrity, in each moment. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
- Be courageous. Embody your values. Not everyone will be okay with you. You must learn to be okay with walking and talking your own truth.
How to know if you are not living authentically:
- You try to impress others for acceptance
- Fear social disapproval
- Playing roles that stifle your identity
- Selling out your values
- Living a compromised, conflicted or counterfeit life
- Not listening to your guts or intuition
- Doing things you “should” do instead of “desire” to
- Blaming others for your problems
Authenticity doesn’t happen by default; it requires awareness and effort to create an integrated, harmonious self. Living authentically is hard, but the benefits make it worthwhile.
“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Facing challenging problems or obstacles is a part of life that no one can escape. You cannot plan for everything that gets thrown in your path, no matter what you prepare for.
The key to facing problems is to not avoid them, but rather jump into them head first. The act of avoiding them will only cause them to follow you around, and they usually will only get worse.
Our problems are what give us the opportunity to see what we’re made of. We obtain the biggest growth in life, not through having it easy, but by how we learn about who we are in the face of these challenges.
We find the resources within to build character and resilience. No, it’s not easy but it’s possible. If we look for the gifts hidden in all of our experiences, we can begin to stop labeling good or bad, right or wrong.
When my son was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome I went into a downward spiral. I could not understand why. How could this be? I felt devastating emotional pain, anger, shame, and feelings of hopelessness. I looked for help, I prayed to God to take this away, and I cried the tears only a mother can.
After more than a decade of dealing with this challenge I have come to look at what it has taught me about myself. I have found inner strength to pull myself out of the depth of despair. I refused to let this become my albatross… and so has my son. He has and continues to teach me about resilience and courage.
What is the lesson?
I have learned what I am made of, I have resilience beyond what I believed, and I have the ability to face my pain.
Pain is part of life, and through self love and compassion all can be transformed.
Your greatest power and gift comes from within you.
Obstacles are speed bumps on the road to discovering who you are.
“Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.”
I recently realized I was a perfectionist, or a recovering one.
This topic came up in conversation recently when a friend was agonizing over the content of her first published book. The memories of my designing days in the garment industry flashed back into my mind. How I was designing my line up until the last possibly minute until FedEx arrived and I had to stop. I had to hit the deadline for my Wal-Mart appointment.
What went on internally was the dreaded feeling that I missed something. It wasn’t ready yet! It wasn’t perfect yet! I needed to cover all the bases and then some. But for a perfectionist, are we ever ready or done?
There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence but sometimes the need for being perfect can cripple creativity or stop you from achieving your dreams.
How to Recognize Perfectionism?
- Do you have trouble meeting your own standards?
- Do you get frustrated, anxious, or depressed trying to meet your standards?
- Have you been told my standards are too high?
- Do your standards get in the way of meeting deadlines or tasks?
- Do you criticize yourself for not doing a good enough job after spending a lot of time?
Do you worry about?
- Anything less than perfect makes you a failure
- Can’t handle others seeing you less than perfect
- You “should” have anticipated problems and beat yourself up
- Spending too much time laboring over simple tasks
- Constantly improving or re-doing
- Agonizing over small details
- Avoiding trying new things due to making mistakes
By using perspective in the big picture, compromising, overcoming procrastination, and cutting down the “To Do” list perfectionism can be overcome.
Awareness of these behaviors can help you identify perfectionism in your life and recognizing how it can be hampering success.
When I began to let go of being “perfect” the world opened up. I wasn’t afraid of judgement or making mistakes. I let go and did my best, and now I don’t sweat the small stuff.
Life is too short to spend trying to be perfect. There is no time more perfect than the now.
““The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.
But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.
That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.
Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.
There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?
Some Ways to Practice Gratitude
• Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.
• Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.
• Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.
• Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.
• When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.
• Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.
As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.
“Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”
When faced with difficult decisions in life, how do you deal with them?
The fear of making the wrong decisions can be paralyzing, causing us to avoid them, deny them, or feel helpless.
Fear is not knowing the outcome. Fear is the unknown. We want to avoid pain, humiliation, or the loss of anything.
You may be the type to say, “I don’t like to take risks or chances. I want to play it safe so I’m not homeless, penniless, or alone”. I know those inner voices well. Many of us do and they can follow us around constantly.
Some of us are so fearful of making a decision we would rather let life make it for us, and life will. The act of not choosing is a choice.
It’s living in the default lane of life.
Living by default is like sailing a boat without sails. It’s drifting out, having the ocean push and pull you in whatever direction.
How do you make decisions? How do you know how to choose?
Start asking if the decision is based on fear (ego) or love of self?
When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.
Simple questions to ask yourself:
- What do I value?
- What do I really want?
- Why do I want that?
- What’s stopping me?
Identifying your fears, knowing what you value, and what you truly want will give you a compass to guide your life.
You are the captain of your ship… and the master of your destiny.
Values Assessment DOWNLOAD
Rate each value on a scale of 1-10 based on its importance in your life. Then rate each value on a scale of 1-10 based on how well you live each value or “walk the talk”.
Click this link! ☟
Leadership isn’t something that is given, it is earned.
Great leaders bring out the best in others, and inspire them to take action.
We all have what it takes to be a leader. We either chose to be a leader or not.
Bad leaders use negative tactics such as intimidation, manipulation, and deceit, and lack integrity. Bad leaders want to take credit for others’ success or not take responsibility for their actions.
A business owner I once knew very well didn’t want to be present at his location and chose to delegate to his employees. He preferred to work over the phone or through email. When an employee didn’t do a job to his liking he’d brow beat them or make sarcastic remarks to get his point across. The behavior went to the point of shouting, lying, or talking behind their backs to others. When face-to-face with the employee, he pretended to care or understand but in private he gossiped and complained. How often have you seen or heard of a situation such as this, or know a person who would talk about you as soon as you left the room?
We lead through our actions and words.
We lead by example throughout our lives.
- HAVE COMPASSION
- ARE EMPATHETIC
- ARE AUTHENTIC
- ARE TRANSPARENT
- ARE TRUSTWORTHY
You can choose to lead with these qualities, and achieve self-worth, gain respect, and a great level of success. It is never to late to become the leader you wish to follow.